So, what have I learned over the last eight weeks? Well...
- The period between the election and the new president-elect taking office is less than 11 weeks but feels like an eternity. (Thank you, still-president Bush.)
- During a robbery, telling someone to move to a different spot means you're also guilty of kidnapping and gives you about 15 years in prison. (Thank you, OJ.)
- Becoming the governor of Illinois makes you more likely to end up in prison (50%) than murdering someone does (48%.) (Thank you, Jon Stewart.)
- When opening a wine bottle, mistaking the vintage for the price tag can make a seeming $19.99 bottle of champagne actually cost you $389. (Thank you, The Dentist Brothers.)
- Oolong tea is good and green tea is ridiculous. (Thank you, Jennifer Stanchina.)
- The iPhone is actually as slick as can be. (Thank you, Captain Obvious.)
- You should always strive to spend more time barefoot. (Thank you, Joy of Rediscovery.)
- The financial meltdown means that a vacation in Vegas is cheaper than ever. (Thank you, Housing Bubble.)
- James Bond becomes bitter and vengeful with age. (Thank you, Daniel Craig.)
- Keynesian economics are back. (Thank you, Self-Imploding Markets.)
- Without Woo-Girls, tiny cowboy hats would only be worn by tiny cowboys. (Thank you, Barney Stinson.)
- Southern California now catches fire every year. (Thank you, Rich-and-famous-people-living-there-so-we-have-a-reason-to-care.)
- Wearing your shirt with the back of the collar straight up is an effective way to broadcast your douchebaggery. (Thank you, Scottsdale Douchebags.)
- Living in the desert for four years makes you think gray skies are beautiful. (Thank you, Scarcity of Clouds.)
- Cyndi Lauper has a sense of humor. (Thank you, The Hives.)
- Facebook is great for finding old friends, but I still suck at actually keeping in touch with them. (Thank you, Unyielding Reality.)
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